Day 3

January 26, 2010

It’s day three and I’m feeling good in the hunger department…not hungry or having any desires for food. Maybe because as I was having an orange today… I COULDN’T TASTE IT!

Yes one more thing to add to the episodes of chronic sickness I’ve been having for these two weeks. Today’s new additions include….but not limited to… continued ear pluggage, stuffy nose, loss of taste, fatigue and all around yuckiness.

At about four pm today I’de had enough practicing for the day and hurried home to a hot shower and advil… Boy did that help! As soon as my head hit the pillow it felt like weights lifted and I rested peacefully for about three hours. The mucus in my throat is finally breaking up! Hallelujah! I think I’ll be back to normal by the end of this week with minor damage to my throat and poor little nose.

It makes me happy to see the numbers on the scale diminish over time. I know that my weight doesn’t define who I am inside but it really has a definite factor on how I think and present myself to others and myself. The scale is just one of the outward expressions of who I am inside. When this is all over with I will truly be the person I want to be inside and out. 100% Transformed! I can’t wait. But as they say beauty is in the process which means I have to go through this part to have an end result. In the end I will appreciate who I am instead of take for granted the things I have.


Day 1

January 24, 2010

Here I am again at day 1! I have successfully completed the first day and I feel great! Since my first fast it seems like I’ve trained myself to not think about or crave food and if I do I remind myself about the greater goal I’m trying to achieve.

Tomorrow school starts and I’m excited to start the week off on this fast and I look forward to the end and the results they will bring. Already I’ve had less chronic pain in my knee and my acne is disappearing rather quickly as well as any body odors. It’s amazing what a water fast will do to your body and rejuvenation that you feel when your on a fast. I love it!

See you all tomorrow!


Day 8 – Week 1 Completed!

January 17, 2010

Here I am at the 8th day of my fast and completion of the first week. I’m proud of myself and the hurtles I’ve jumped AND learned from. I’m a greater person after completing this first week.


Yes this is my weight as of 8:30 this morning! Sure I could have lost a few more pounds if I hadn’t had anything to eat on Friday but the lesson I learned was far better than losing a few more pounds of weight. That will come off eventually. The lesson learned was in the moment and may never come again exactly like that.

My ability for accomplishment will follow with success. Failing is stopping, success is falling but getting back up and into the game like nothing ever happened.

32 more days of water fast, 72 more days of more transformation.

Day 7

January 16, 2010

I’m not here to get skinny and be hot and hip although that is a tantalizing idea, I’m here to finally get rid of this weight both physically and mentally and be a forever changed human being inside and out.

As I read and continue to read about fasting and all it entails I always come across this statement “if your hungry, eat” I always think to myself why on a ‘fast’ would you want to ‘eat’! It didn’t make sense to me until yesterday. I started actually wanting food and felt like I was needing something in my body. Since I’ve been sick and all I decided that yes this was an appropriate decision to make so I ate. I had brown rice and textured soy protein, some nuts and an orange, as well as some lentil soup. After eating I felt ok. Initially there was some guilt that I had gone against my word or maybe I shouldn’t have succumbed. In the end I felt ok about it, and I didn’t over eat. I ate only what would fit inside my stomach and I stopped when I was done and threw away the rest….This is a big accomplishment for me.

Today I continued the fasting and I’m ok, my body is fine and I’m not hungry nor have I even given thought to food. This has been a great learning experience for me that I will never forget. Hurtle number two crossed

Tomorrow I weigh in:

33 more days of water fasting, 73 more days of more transformation…

Day 4,5,6

January 15, 2010

I’ve been really sick these past couple of days… I feel awful. My throat feels like it’s got sand paper in it and I can’t cough enough to get things out. The reason I’m sick is because my body is letting out tons of toxic build up that has been there for the past three years since I fasted last time. I’m just letting it run its course and taking some Advil so I can get some sleep at night. I’ve still continued to fast in-spite of the sickness. I’m not hungry much if at all any more but my brain or fat cells still tell me I want some certain food or another.

Tried drinking salt water last night… I cut up an orange so after every sip I could suck on an orange slice to get that nasty salt water taste out of my mouth…Needless to say it all came up and out into the kitchen sink. I did manage to get some salt water down me but I don’t think it was enough. I’ve just been relaxing and sleeping a lot and soon this will be over. I don’t feel any major weakness or dizziness like on Wednesday, this is good. I feel pretty good and clear headed except for the plugged up nose and sandpaper throat.

My kidneys hurt for a while and I had a lot of aches in the upper shoulder and neck area, this makes me think I must have had a lot of build-up in my shoulders from practicing. As a result I feel more relaxed in my practicing since its all being released.

All in all I’m feeling like I’m getting better and there is a lot of hope and perseverance that I will be able to finish my goal! I can do it!

34 more days of water fasting, 74 more days till my transformation.

Day 3

January 13, 2010

Well I’ve officially completed the first three days. One word…Tired

Today was uneventful but enlightening. I can say that I have definitely created a firm foundation for the rest of this fast and I will complete my goal and follow through! I am an over-comer!

I will be posting pictures in the near future but don’t hold your breath…

As I am very tired there is not much I want to write right know.


37 more days of water fasting. 77 days left of Transformation.

Close on Day 2!

January 12, 2010

Greetings from the end of the second day!

Today was a very challenging day to say the least. I woke up with a head ache that increased throughout the day and eventually I had to take some Advil to make it go away! I was craving some really good foods like seaweed, rice and tofu with teriyaki… I resisted the temptations to eat and stuck to my guns and said no matter what it takes “I’m Following Through With This!!! Just by doing that little thing made and still makes me feel real good.

I worked today, usually I eat while I’m working to keep up energy and not stop for lunch which usually takes more time. Today while working I was craving the weirdest stuff…BUT I once again said NO! After work I went to Wal-Mart to pick up a few necessities and while in there I started to want food…It’s amazing how much control I’ve let food have over my life…NO MORE!

Last night after I posted I had an interesting experience. I spoke to an acquaintance that in times past our relationship was rocky to say the least. When this person came to me and wanted to chat I literally froze and the only way I can describe how I felt is it was like a wave of emotions hitting me so hard it felt like someone slapped me in the face. I felt anxious and my heart rate went up and I had no clue what I was going to do. Apparently I had gotten used to the way we interacted and when this person finally left my life the re-entrance was harsh.

No more will I let any one have that much negative control over my life and actions. This will end here. My life is changed and I’m Moving Forward!

Thank you for being here to let all my feelings out…


38 more days of water fasting! 78 more says till my transformation!

Making Changes…Day 1

January 11, 2010

So here I am at the end of my first day of water fasting. I have to say it’s been rather calm and smooth and I’ve only had a small bit of desire to have food about an hour ago and that’s it.

I’ve weighed in at 240lbs this morning and I hope to weigh in again every Sunday to see my progress. The reason I don’t want to check every day is because I want this to be about mental health and not just the weight loss. Mental health has brought me this far and I like how it feels, it’s all good!

A little bit that’s going on in my life today. My very dear friend just asked me to be a part of her wedding! Yeah I’m so excited! Even though they expect me to look the same for their wedding I think that this will be a pleasant surprise to them. I couldn’t help smiling to myself thinking that my weight won’t be a damper to pictures or the choice of wedding attire. I can just be me and be a healthy me!

Makes me think that one day my hard work will pay off and I’ll be walking down the aisle soon enough…I’ve never had a significant other so I’ll be excited when that day comes.

39 more days of water fasting! 79 more days of Transformation.


January 9, 2010

Apprehension and excitement are the precursor feelings going on inside me. I can’t really believe that in 80 days I’ll be the person I’ve always wanted to be!

Well Spoken words… Embrace the adventure. That’s my motto.

The Beginning

January 8, 2010

I entitle this blog 80 days – Transformation for several different reasons. The main reason being that a habit is broken or created in 28 days or repeated 28 times consecutively.

This is the beginning of my transformation. No on in my sphere of friends or family knows I’m about to embark on the most trying and strenuous journey of my entire life. Talk is cheat but actions speak louder than words.

There may not be pictures for a while just because of the aspect of anonymity and safety in knowing no one knows who I am. I may at some point in these next few weeks add some audio blogging instead of writing, sometimes I can say the things better in words than in writing. Here goes:

For the next 80 days I am going to start my transformation, follow through with the promise to myself to change, and end it all with a completely different me. First I will go on a 40 day water only fast starting on Sunday the 10th. Then as I come off the fast I will retrain my brain and body into a healthier and more positive lifestyle.

For 25 years now I have been what the world calls overweight, I’ve suffered rejection and hurt because of the way I appeared to people. In defense of myself I turned the negative to a positive and am very happy and jolly most of the time. This being the outside, inside I’m still hurting and there’s a lot of unresolved issues that literally festered and finally came to the surface.

A little over two years ago I began a change in me that was started by someone who was very important in my life. Whether or not the beginning was done in a correct manner, I had started on the right path to change. For two years now I’ve made amazing progress in the change of my character and mental stability as a person.

Just recently I’ve been seeing a health psychologist because I finally had the self-awareness moment that ‘yes’ I do have a problem and negative attachment to food. When everything and everyone lets you down an Oreo is still and Oreo. Food was my way of getting the love and attention that I was lacking and subsequently craving therefore the terrible habit began. Even though I wanted to change myself, I needed the love and affection from somewhere and I felt fulfillment with food, well at least for a while. Then I came to the stark realization that my desire for food was counter-intuitive to the change I wanted to make, a better healthier me. Thus this is the starting point I’m at and hope to finish.

I will weigh in every week starting on Sunday as well as posting daily journals and updates.

Wish me luck and wish me well.