Day 2

January 25, 2010

Here we are at day two! I feel great on the inside but my throat and ears are doing horrible! I can’t believe this sickness has totally got me this time round. Well first day of school was a success and I’m ready for tomorrow!

I threw up twice this morning because I was coughing so much… yeah I know it was painful. Sometimes I can barely catch my breath when these things come on. I was in line at the bank on saturday and had to leave cause my cough was so bad I couldn’t stand in line, almost the same thing happened at the post office.

I’m still feeling a bit self-conscious about my weight even though I’ve lost 10 pounds I really sometimes don’t like the fact that I’m still big and I just want this all to GO AWAY! My sister was telling me about the show the Biggest Loser and how the people on there have so many mental problems being the fat person and I wanted to tell her I’m losing weight too but I haven’t said a thing to any of my family or friends because I’m not ready yet. I really just want to surprise them.

My friend who’s wedding I’m in is helping me find a pattern for the dress I’m going to wear and I really want to tell her I’ll be really thin by the time here wedding comes around so don’t worry but she just thinks I don’t really like the dress… I sooo wanted to to tell her or give a hint but I WILL not do that. I want people to start seeing a change in me rather than going around telling everyone “I’m Changing!!!” So here’s to another day skinner, healthier and more energetic. I will be seeing my health psychologist soon and I’ll let you know what we chat about and the new things she’s helping me with.

Thank you for your support and helping me on my way. I’ll do the same for you!



2 Responses to “Day 2”

  1. I think when you’re changing, it’s important to always accept yourself as you are. The reasons why can be difficult to understand. It’s like sleeping. If you’re lying in bed trying to get to sleep, and you’re all worried that you won’t be able to pass out, ironically that’s exactly how insomnia starts. But if you accept that you might not be able to get to sleep right away, and that you’re enjoying lying in bed without worrying about sleep, that’s when you’ll fall asleep the easiest.

    The point is, that if you are overweight, you need to accept it, but realize that your weight is not you! The more you worry about your weight, the harder it will be to become healthy because you’re just causing yourself stress, which lowers your mood and decreases your motivation. I know this is hard, because women get negative affirmations about their body from all sides, all the time. You can’t walk down the street without some magazine telling you to feel bad about yourself for one reason or another. I can’t stress that enough, mainstream media will make you miserable about yourself, no matter who you are, if you let it.

    Love yourself first, just the way you are, it’s the best way to find the strength to change. I hope this didn’t come across as a rant, I’m kinda tired and not sure how much sense I’m making! 😉

    • fmlopez said

      Wow I was so refreshed by your true statement. You are very wise and this has totally opened my eyes to a new way of thinking about myself.

      I know that scientifically if you think negative thoughts it releases negative hormones in your body that have adverse effects ie. weight gain, depression, anything else. I’ve had to retrain my brain to think that my fat is not apart of my character and that it is something that CAN be changed and my fat doesn’t define who I really am.

      These have been incredible stepping stones to my success with weight loss and my attachments to food. For my whole life I never knew I had a problem up until last august when I finally admitted to myself that I did. From that point on it was like my engine finally had power to move forward and make changes.

      What I’m doing here is all apart of my transformation!

      Thanks so much for your words really they were amazing.

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