January 28, 2010
Ok folks…. I officially have pneumonia. Yeah this means I’m on official leave from fasting until I can get over this sickness and fight off any other infections. I’m taking antibiotics right now in the morning where I have to eat then I’m taking probiotics in the evening before I go to bead to help stimulate and create new and good bacteria in me so I don’t get a yeast infection or anything else.
After I get over this I will resume my fast but I may not blogg about it. I know this may seem sad to some but I have begun a journey that I now need to finish on my own. I can do this there is hope for me I feel it with everything that’s in me. Just today I felt differently about how I feel and think about my weight, no do I connect who I am to what I weigh instead I’ve found my self worth to be in what makes me not what’s on the outside. This is big progress. I will keep you informed as much as I can and thank you to all those that have faithfully been reading and are interested in what I’m doing thank you!!!
January 26, 2010
It’s day three and I’m feeling good in the hunger department…not hungry or having any desires for food. Maybe because as I was having an orange today… I COULDN’T TASTE IT!
Yes one more thing to add to the episodes of chronic sickness I’ve been having for these two weeks. Today’s new additions include….but not limited to… continued ear pluggage, stuffy nose, loss of taste, fatigue and all around yuckiness.
At about four pm today I’de had enough practicing for the day and hurried home to a hot shower and advil… Boy did that help! As soon as my head hit the pillow it felt like weights lifted and I rested peacefully for about three hours. The mucus in my throat is finally breaking up! Hallelujah! I think I’ll be back to normal by the end of this week with minor damage to my throat and poor little nose.
It makes me happy to see the numbers on the scale diminish over time. I know that my weight doesn’t define who I am inside but it really has a definite factor on how I think and present myself to others and myself. The scale is just one of the outward expressions of who I am inside. When this is all over with I will truly be the person I want to be inside and out. 100% Transformed! I can’t wait. But as they say beauty is in the process which means I have to go through this part to have an end result. In the end I will appreciate who I am instead of take for granted the things I have.
January 25, 2010
Here we are at day two! I feel great on the inside but my throat and ears are doing horrible! I can’t believe this sickness has totally got me this time round. Well first day of school was a success and I’m ready for tomorrow!
I threw up twice this morning because I was coughing so much… yeah I know it was painful. Sometimes I can barely catch my breath when these things come on. I was in line at the bank on saturday and had to leave cause my cough was so bad I couldn’t stand in line, almost the same thing happened at the post office.
I’m still feeling a bit self-conscious about my weight even though I’ve lost 10 pounds I really sometimes don’t like the fact that I’m still big and I just want this all to GO AWAY! My sister was telling me about the show the Biggest Loser and how the people on there have so many mental problems being the fat person and I wanted to tell her I’m losing weight too but I haven’t said a thing to any of my family or friends because I’m not ready yet. I really just want to surprise them.
My friend who’s wedding I’m in is helping me find a pattern for the dress I’m going to wear and I really want to tell her I’ll be really thin by the time here wedding comes around so don’t worry but she just thinks I don’t really like the dress… I sooo wanted to to tell her or give a hint but I WILL not do that. I want people to start seeing a change in me rather than going around telling everyone “I’m Changing!!!” So here’s to another day skinner, healthier and more energetic. I will be seeing my health psychologist soon and I’ll let you know what we chat about and the new things she’s helping me with.
Thank you for your support and helping me on my way. I’ll do the same for you!
January 24, 2010
Here I am again at day 1! I have successfully completed the first day and I feel great! Since my first fast it seems like I’ve trained myself to not think about or crave food and if I do I remind myself about the greater goal I’m trying to achieve.
Tomorrow school starts and I’m excited to start the week off on this fast and I look forward to the end and the results they will bring. Already I’ve had less chronic pain in my knee and my acne is disappearing rather quickly as well as any body odors. It’s amazing what a water fast will do to your body and rejuvenation that you feel when your on a fast. I love it!
See you all tomorrow!
January 23, 2010
Looks like I got a lot sicker than I knew I was! Wow Bronchitis and the Flu and a cold. This to me means that I must have had a lot of toxins built up in body and they all decided to come right on out! haha
Well tomorrow is the start date again, I am even more determined to do this than when I actually started so maybe this sickness thing was a good thing. I’ve come to many self realizations these past few days of sickness and I really feel liberated in so many ways both physically and mentally.
I’ve just gotten a job with the leading Ballet company in my town to be a pianist for their next big production so this is a chance to really change who I am and let people see and meet the new and improved me! I can’t wait to get started. My endurance is up but I know what the next few days have in store so please send encouragement my way so I can move forward with these new changes.
Thank you for all your support,
January 20, 2010
Due to my continuing sickness, I will have to end my forty day water fast and continue on with the cleansing aspect now and hopefully regain my health and finish the fast at a later point.
I will continue to post on my health and cleansing as things happen.
January 17, 2010
Here I am at the 8th day of my fast and completion of the first week. I’m proud of myself and the hurtles I’ve jumped AND learned from. I’m a greater person after completing this first week.
Yes this is my weight as of 8:30 this morning! Sure I could have lost a few more pounds if I hadn’t had anything to eat on Friday but the lesson I learned was far better than losing a few more pounds of weight. That will come off eventually. The lesson learned was in the moment and may never come again exactly like that.
My ability for accomplishment will follow with success. Failing is stopping, success is falling but getting back up and into the game like nothing ever happened.
32 more days of water fast, 72 more days of more transformation.
January 16, 2010
I’m not here to get skinny and be hot and hip although that is a tantalizing idea, I’m here to finally get rid of this weight both physically and mentally and be a forever changed human being inside and out.
As I read and continue to read about fasting and all it entails I always come across this statement “if your hungry, eat” I always think to myself why on a ‘fast’ would you want to ‘eat’! It didn’t make sense to me until yesterday. I started actually wanting food and felt like I was needing something in my body. Since I’ve been sick and all I decided that yes this was an appropriate decision to make so I ate. I had brown rice and textured soy protein, some nuts and an orange, as well as some lentil soup. After eating I felt ok. Initially there was some guilt that I had gone against my word or maybe I shouldn’t have succumbed. In the end I felt ok about it, and I didn’t over eat. I ate only what would fit inside my stomach and I stopped when I was done and threw away the rest….This is a big accomplishment for me.
Today I continued the fasting and I’m ok, my body is fine and I’m not hungry nor have I even given thought to food. This has been a great learning experience for me that I will never forget. Hurtle number two crossed
Tomorrow I weigh in:
33 more days of water fasting, 73 more days of more transformation…
January 15, 2010
I’ve been really sick these past couple of days… I feel awful. My throat feels like it’s got sand paper in it and I can’t cough enough to get things out. The reason I’m sick is because my body is letting out tons of toxic build up that has been there for the past three years since I fasted last time. I’m just letting it run its course and taking some Advil so I can get some sleep at night. I’ve still continued to fast in-spite of the sickness. I’m not hungry much if at all any more but my brain or fat cells still tell me I want some certain food or another.
Tried drinking salt water last night… I cut up an orange so after every sip I could suck on an orange slice to get that nasty salt water taste out of my mouth…Needless to say it all came up and out into the kitchen sink. I did manage to get some salt water down me but I don’t think it was enough. I’ve just been relaxing and sleeping a lot and soon this will be over. I don’t feel any major weakness or dizziness like on Wednesday, this is good. I feel pretty good and clear headed except for the plugged up nose and sandpaper throat.
My kidneys hurt for a while and I had a lot of aches in the upper shoulder and neck area, this makes me think I must have had a lot of build-up in my shoulders from practicing. As a result I feel more relaxed in my practicing since its all being released.
All in all I’m feeling like I’m getting better and there is a lot of hope and perseverance that I will be able to finish my goal! I can do it!
34 more days of water fasting, 74 more days till my transformation.
January 13, 2010
Well I’ve officially completed the first three days. One word…Tired
Today was uneventful but enlightening. I can say that I have definitely created a firm foundation for the rest of this fast and I will complete my goal and follow through! I am an over-comer!
I will be posting pictures in the near future but don’t hold your breath…
As I am very tired there is not much I want to write right know.
37 more days of water fasting. 77 days left of Transformation.